The Rubber Biskit Road Show Presents: "Really I Have No Excuse But I'm Going To Make Some Excuse"

The Rubber Biskit Road Show Presents: "Really I Have No Excuse But I'm Going To Make Some Excuse"

In this episode of the Rubber Biskit Road Show, The GYPSY offers a whirlwind tour of his world, blending personal updates with global events and intriguing anecdotes.

Beginning with an update on his recent colonoscopy, The GYPSY seamlessly transitions into discussing his wife Raychel's recent cancer diagnosis, navigating the challenges and emotions that come with such news with his signature blend of humor and candor.

From there, The GYPSY delves into the geopolitical landscape, addressing Putin's invasion into Ukraine and providing insights into the complexities of international relations. Yet, amidst the weighty topics, The GYPSY finds moments of levity, marveling at the world's oldest goldfish and reflecting on the resiliency of youth.

Throughout the episode, The GYPSY's storytelling prowess shines, captivating listeners with his engaging narrative style and thought-provoking commentary. In just 30 minutes, he covers a wide array of topics, offering a rich tapestry of insights, humor, and reflection.

Join The GYPSY on this entertaining and informative journey as he navigates the highs and lows of life, proving that even when faced with challenges, there's always room for laughter and appreciation for the absurdity of the world around us.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a rebroadcast of a podcast episode from 03/21/2022. I stopped podcasting to help my wife through her battle with stage 4 breast cancer. My wife recovered and I am now ready to start podcasting once more. Over the next couple of months, I will repost my past podcasts and start new episodes in 2024.

“Like a Rubber Biskit, I have spent my life bouncing from here to there and back to here again.”  -The GYPSY-

Please Support Our Kickstarter Campaign To Bring  "Never Say Never: An Epic Journey - Volume Two" To Press. Click Here For Details

I'm The GYPSY and You're Not and This Is The Rubber Biskit Road Show Presented By Artist Alley Studio Featuring The Artisan, Handcrafted and Branded Creations of The GYPSY and Mad Hatter. Visit Us At www.ArtistAlleyStudio.com

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Tatman Productions LLC. Copyright 2021 - All Rights Reserved. No Parts of The Podcast May Be Copied, Reproduced or Used Without The Express Written Permission Of The Artist.

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Transcript

Season1RBRSEpisode23 - Podcast.mp3

Transcript

Welcome to Episode 23 of the Rubber Biscuit Rd. show I am your host, the Gypsy, and we're coming to you from somewhere within the exotic city of Topeka, KS. How's it going today, everyone? Well, I hope you're fine. I'm doing pretty good, I guess, as I was. So multiple weed times. Is that a word? Notably numerous as as numerous times reminded over the past week, we did not have an episode last week and. There were reasons for that not happening, and you'll find out today what those reasons more so let's get started with. Really I have no excuse, but I'm going to make some excuse. That's the name of this episode anyway. So what happened was we had a whole bunch of stuff go down last Monday that required my personal attention. And also on top of that, I honestly I didn't feel like recording an episode last week with everything that's been going on. I was just kind of like. Yeah. Why do I want to record an episode? I'll just wait. But because I didn't record an episode, many of you have complained to me. Where's the episode? So you can't complain after today, cause here's an episode for you. Well, let me catch you up to date. When I left you last time, I was getting ready to go have a colonoscopy, if you remember. And I mean not something I'm sure that you kept on your mind over the past two weeks. But hey, if you did keep it on your mind, what can I say? I guess that's up to you. I don't know why you'd want to keep my **** on your mind for two weeks. It's just really way beyond me. But, hey, if that's what trips your trigger, who am I to stand in your way of your entertainment anyway? I had the colonoscopy. The good news is, is that. There is no cancer. I'm cancer free. They also removed 2 polyps out of me and this was really good news. Jimmy Hoffa's body was not inside my colon. Now I know there's a lot of conspiracy theorists out there that were saying, yes, gypsies. Colon holds Jimmy Hoffa's body. Well, we can put those rumors to rest. It's not true. Jimmy Hoffa's body is not inside my colon. So after I had that successful colonoscopy, the very next week, I'm not sure what they call this OSCON, anoscopy or no, that don't sound right. It's any way. Basically, they stick a camera up your penis, woo too much fun. So I went to the doctor's office thinking I was going to get a camera stuck on my penis, and I didn't realize that it was going to be like a garden. Holes with the camera attached to it, and not just any camera. It was a big 35mm EOS. Camera. No, not really. It. It wasn't that big. It was just the size of a pocket digital. But anyway, they slipped this device up my penis and took a look inside my bladder and everything looked good inside my bladder except for my prostate. My prostate was overly enlarged, which I'm still confused on how he got that. Camera to turn around and look back at my prostate. That's just absolutely amazes me. That means he flipped that camera around inside my bladder and I'm just trying to really visualize how that could have possibly taken place. But why my mind dwells on that? Let's get back to what was going on inside my bladder. Everything looked good. I saw the scar from when they removed the lesion back here about five years ago, inside my bladder. And that's another story. For another day. But anyway everything looks fine and I am happy to read. Court that Jimmy Hoffa was not inside my bladder either. So those are two areas that the conspiracy theorists can just stop speculating on. Jimmy Hoff was not in my colon. He was not in my bladder. So now that we're clear on that, we can move on to another subject, which is my wife, Rachel. I believe I told you on last episode that she had been diagnosed. With stage 2 breast cancer, and if I didn't tell you that on the last episode, I'm so sorry, but I'm pretty. I did because I remember asking for prayers for it. Well, she started immunotherapy. And then Monday last week, and this, you're going to find out. This is why there wasn't an episode on Monday last week while we were having lunch, they contacted her and told her that the results of the biopsy had come back. Apparently the cancer was more aggressive than they thought it was. And so they stopped the immunotherapy and they started out on a chemotherapy. And so she is now on chemotherapy. Hopefully it don't lead to radiation, but she'll be on chemotherapy for the next 18 to 24 weeks, give or take. And hopefully this gets everything cleared up. Now of course I want you to continue to pray for it. Please do. Because all of this came on so fast. This has really been emotionally, mentally stressing for her. Not to mention, you know, the physically, the physical stress. Well, my tongue getting tied up today, I probably need to take a drink of some ice. Water here. Oh. Yeah, that helped right there anyway. Pain of it is, is that she really, really needs your prayers. This is this is a hard time for her, and it's going to continue to be a hard time. And until all this has passed, so if you would pray for her, she's a fighter. She's in there fighting. She she wants to get rid of the cancer. We want her to get rid of the cancer. Her. She's got a lot of people praying for her. It's it's really amazing to me how many people have come forward and said, hey, you're in our thoughts. You're in our prayers. And you know, the people are the church. She's at the top of the prayer list at the church. And you, you'd almost expect the church that you go to for the people at that church to pray for you. You know, because you are a member of the church family, so of course you're gonna pray for you. But you know her family members also are praying for her, which you would expect that too. You know, the family members would definitely be praying for you. But it's people that were just acquaintances with or that we're friends with on Facebook. They're showing their support. And they're praying for it. And they they're not only saying, hey, we're praying for you, but they've had some really. Great words of encouragement for her, so I'm so glad that there's so many people that are really concerned about her welfare and want to see her get better. It just absolutely tickles me to death. So again, I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but please, please continue to pray for Rachel because she really needs those prayers. Now let's move on to some. Else, let's talk about Nazis. I know what to say. Way how I go directly from talking about my wifes cancer over to talking about Nazis. Well, apparently Vladimir Putin wants the Russian people to believe that he invaded the Ukraine to get rid of Neo Nazis. Really. Exactly who is swallowing that line of malarkey? Is this the same people believing that that believe Trump? When he told the how many numerous lies I was in office, which that reminds me, I saw a news article I just got to bring this up. It just dumbfounded me. It was a news article about a rally that he had and I think was Broward County down in Florida here recently and they were interviewing people that were attending the rally. And this one. 121 year old girl and girl. Well, I'm going to say girl, I'm not going to say woman because her her statement was just really that of a child. She actually said that she wanted to see Trump back in as president because he was honest and I was just like, huh. And then she went on to say that now she's 21. Mind you, she's 21. And she said she had been a fan of his since he had been on the app. Trained us and that she just thinks he's a great leader. So basically this 21 year old girl bases on whether someone can run the company or not or the country not the company but the well he can't even run his own company but she bases on whether someone can run a country or not on how they did on a television show. And something tells me that a lot of Trump's followers do the same thing. Oh, he was on TV, so he can run a country. Well, apparently he can't, but I think the thing that really, really blew me away about this young lady was the fact that she thought that Trump was honest. And I'm not going to go into the numerous lies this man has told, but to think this person is honest, where she gained her information from. Well, my guess would be Fox News. But you know, Fox News. Yeah, that's that's a fair and balanced news source right there. That's an honest news source, right? Wrong. So anyway. Getting back to Vladimir Putin and the Neo Nazism, really. Putin's neo Nazis in the Ukraine? Come on dude, you're killing women and children, innocent women and children. You're killing old people. And you're trying to justify it by saying you're getting rid of Neo Nazis. You want the Russian people to believe that you're liberating a country that didn't need liberating a peaceful country that was doing nothing to you was no threat to Russia whatsoever. But boy, you sure want your people to believe that they wore just so that you can justify your petty little vindictive. Invasion of that country. What's wrong? Putin's panties in a wad. Because they got one over on you back in 2014. Is that what it is? You. You just can't stand that Canon. Well, you know what? Everybody has the right to freedom. Everybody has the right to democracy and you're not going to take that away from those people. You will not take away their freedom. They are going to fight for it to the very, very end. And you know what something tells me at the end of the day that they're the ones that are going to win here and that you. You're going to be the loser with egg on your face, so we'll just sit back and watch that. It should be extremely interesting. I can hardly wait. And, but don't worry, don't worry. I'm glad. Don't worry. You got you got supporters here in the United States. You got people like Paul Gosar and Marjorie Taylor Green. And what's that? What from Colorado's name? Oh, man, she's so unimportant to me. I can't even remember her name. Now, I may remember it later. I don't know. And then there's of course, you know Josh. Holly. Oh yeah, great old Josh. Holly. There. He he roots for you. And. Oh, let's not forget Madison Copthorne. Oh, he just loves you to pieces, don't he? That that's that's your boy right there. You know, the thing of it is, is. That he's just perfect for you since he can't stand up. You know he's at the right height to kiss your ***, so don't worry. You have cheerleaders over here in the United States, and they're going to keep cheering for you all the way to the end and then right at the very end when you're losing your little invasion of Ukraine. I don't call it a war. I call it an invasion. OK, but when you're losing that little, that little action that you're pulling there, your supporters here in the United States, you know, they're. They're going to turn tail and deny that they ever supported you at all and talk about what a horrible, terrible person you are because that's the type of two faced individuals that they are. But you go ahead right now and think that you have their support and you live in that fantasy world because you're apparently already living in a fantasy world. Putin and I think you're going to pay for that in the long run. OK, enough about idiots. Let's move on to other idiots. I got a call in the studio yesterday. We got some really strange calls. Sometimes they just they blew me away, but this one was really interesting and I'm going to do 2 voices here. I'm going to do myself and then I'm going to. I'm going to fake out the other voice of the person that called, OK. So here goes a little little dramatic reenactment here. Thank you for calling artist Sally studio. This is the gypsy. How may I? Help you? Yeah, you do piercings. Yes, we do piercings. What were you looking to get pierced my tongue? Oh, well, that's fine. Some tongues are pierced. Well, some are not. Oh, well. Mine's searchable. Well, I would have to look at your tongue to determine. If it's searchable. Oh, don't worry, it's personal. OK. Well, our rate is $45.00 for a tongue piercing that includes your jewelry and you must be 18 years of age. And we do it by appointment. OK. I want an appointment today. Well, we're booked up today. We don't have any appointments until Thursday at 1:00. Can I schedule that for you? No, I want it today. Well, we can't do it for you today, but it's a simple piercing. No tongue. Piercings are not simple. They take about 30 minutes to do and we have no time available today. OK, well, squeeze me in 30 minutes in between some one. No, that's not how that works. You have to make an appointment. We have nothing. Today, well, they can just wait. They cannot wait. If someone has an appointment, we take the appointment. We don't do any walkings whatsoever, not on tattoos or piercings either. One. Well, miss the addiction used to. I said, well, Mystic addiction is out of business. Oh, why are they out of business? I said because they used to take walk-ins. Over appointments. Thanks for playing. Have a nice day and I hung up the phone. Yes, I get calls like that all the time. I'm not kidding. That one was a real doozy, though, you know? So I just had to share it with you. But yeah, we'll have people call like that and they don't get the fact that we do not take walk-ins. I don't know how more clear I can be on it. You know, on our website, on Facebook. On our Google listings, all of those not only state that. We do not take walk-ins that we work by appointment only. They also state that we don't take anyone under 18 and I'm telling you right now, I can't. If if I took every single person under 18 that called, I'd be a rich man. I wouldn't have to work today, I could retire, but yet they choose to ignore that. And of course, our favorite thing always when we tell some parent that we're not going to Pierce. Or tattoo their underage child. They'll go. Not even with my consent. No, Sir. No, ma'am. Not even with your consent. We just said there are no exceptions. Apparently, when these people went through school. The word exception and know were two words that they never learn. The meaning of. You know, they they taught them the definition of every other word under the sun. But the definition for no an exception. Somehow the teachers failed to give them the definition of that. So I don't know how that happened, but really strange, but anyway. If you're listening to this listening the rubber Biscuit Rd. show right now and your thing about coming to the artist Alley studio to get a tattoo or Pierce. Let me assure you thereby appointment only we do not tattoo or Pierce anyone under the age of 18 for any reason, no exceptions. So I hope we're clear on that and maybe if you're going to call for an appointment, you know you'll know ahead of time what's the deal. This. So let's see. We've covered a lot already in just, you know like the 17 minutes we've been yakking here. What else can we cover today? I'm sure there's some other things we can cover. What? Now let's talk about animals. Love animals. Let's talk about animals. I have. I have three dogs, a cat and a fish. Yeah, we come for fish. The fish is the world's oldest fish. By the way. I don't know how old this fish is, but he's like this. Goldfish has a long Gray beard. And swims with a cane. I kid you not. So he's the world's oldest living goldfish, I'm pretty sure, but I need to contact Guinness and have him come over. Excuse me. I'm going to grab another drink. My throat's clogging up here. OK? Don't mean to be rude and drink while doing the podcast, but hey, who cares? Anyway, you know I can do what I want to. It's my podcast, right? So when I came back to the goldfish. I saved this fish. Life now. You heard me mention Mystic addiction. Just a couple of minutes ago. Well, I unfortunately, and I hate to admit this, but for a short period I rented a booth there for my tattooing and piercing. Big mistake that I made. Their morals definitely did not match my morals. And I had to get out of there before my good name was striked down, you know, with theirs. And it was just it was. It was not a pleasant situation anyway. The owner of Mystic Addiction, he had a tank full of goldfish and he had a tank full of piranha and he would charge people $5 to uh, feed a goldfish to the piranha. Well, this upset me. There's no need for that. You don't need to feed live fish to a piranha if you're going to keep piranha. There's a lot of things you can feed them. Chicken liver, beef liver. Hell, they'll eat hamburger. I mean, there's all sorts of things that pirano will eat in captivity. They don't need to eat a live fish. And it was just cruel to watch them tear apart these goldfish. It was just heart wrenching. Anyway, there were six really pretty goldfish in that tank and I rescued all six of them, and now there's only one left. They all, you know, went on. They're goldfish. They don't live very long, and they'll eventually went on to their maker. Except for this one. We call him fishy guy. That's his name. He's fishy guy and fishy. Nigel seems to keep living and living and living and living and he's he's living forever. I don't think fishy guy is ever going to die, to be truthful with you, I think he will be around after you know, man has ceased to walk the earth when the cockroaches rule and the octopuses are building skyscrapers. I think fishy Guy will still be sitting around going. Yo, dude, what's up? You know? But you know this. He's an old fish. I mean, he's really, really old and we kind of we kind of like him, my wife, Rachel. He says. I can't believe that I let a fish a fish cause me to care about it, but she cares about the fish she loves fishy guys. Anyway, I hope fishy guy continues to be around for a long, long time and you know he don't do much except swim around eating poop. But you know what? We love him. And you know, it's kind of like your children, you know? Your children don't do much, but you know, walk around, eat, sleep and poop. But you know you still love them anyway. So and you want them around for a while, so no reason for us not to want fish guy. Around for a while, right? Well, looks like we have moved into spring. I mean spring is here. I got I got several different signs for spring. Every year they are, there's three definite signs, so I've added a fourth one this year, so I have to see it. 1. Yes, I have seen Robins and if you haven't seen Robbins then you're blind cause they're all over the place. There has to be a thunderstorm. We had one of those the other night. Wasn't very long, but it definitely thundered. And then there has to be dandelions. And that's one thing I haven't seen yet. I haven't seen any dandelions, but the men I see, dandelions said. Boom. I know springs here. Of course, according to the calendar, today is the first day of spring. But I haven't seen the dandelion, so I do. Believe it now I've added a fourth sign. Now it's when I see nightcrawlers in my dogs water bowl. I know springs here. Well, I saw a Nightcrawler in my dog's water bowl, so we're still only waiting for that dandelion. And I'm. I'm sorry. March 21st. You can claim to be the first day of spring. All you want to, but you haven't caught for any dandelions yet. And until I see that dandelion, I'm not going to believe it's spring and you cannot convince me that spring. So come on March 21st. Where's the dandelions? I don't see them, so I don't know to tell you I'm just going to completely ignore you until you bring forth the dandelion. And then I'll say, oh, look, spring is here. And whispering brings one of my biggest headaches. Every year we have a very large swimming pool. It's 28 foot across. It's The thing is massive. This is not a Walmart special. This is a. This is a high dollar above ground swimming pool and. Every year I battle the seeds from the trees that will go on to the tarp that covers the swimming pool, and then when I try to remove the tarp, all these seeds will fall down inside the pool and I spend weeks getting all the seeds out of the bottom of the pool. It's just it's been a big headache until this year. I beat the seeds. How? Well, there's this thing called a leaf net and I put it over in the winter time. And I mean in the fall I stick it over the pool in the fall after I put the tarp on and it catches all these leaves while I pull the leaf from that off like I put it on by October 1st. Then on November 1st. I'll holding that off and I'll dump all the leaves out of it. I'll put it back on there again, back on the pool and then on December 1st, I pull it one more time, dump the leaves and I put the net up so that it don't freeze. You don't want this. Net to freeze through the pool. Well, when I put it up back in December, I. Like. Wait a minute. What the Hell's wrong with me? If it catches leaves, they'll catch seed pods. Right, so March 1st, I was getting ready to spread that that net across or that leaf and across the pool when we suddenly had a freeze and snow. And I was like, are you kidding me? So I had to wait a couple of weeks now. In a couple of weeks, I had to wait. Seeds had started falling from the trees, but there wasn't enough to make that big a difference. I was able to pull the net up underneath the seeds and reattach it to the pool, and now those seeds had fallen. They are floating on top of the net. So here in what about six weeks from now, around May 1st I'll be pulling the net and the tarp off the pool and I'll start cleaning the pool and getting it ready for the swimming season. Hopefully by the time Memorial Day rolls around, we have a bunch of family over the, you know, the pool will be ready to go now. Last year, when we had the family over a Memorial Day, it was ready to go. However, we had nothing but rain and it was cold and nasty and you're not going to believe this. But Rachel's nieces and nephews actually jumped into the pool and went swimming and the water to. Temperature was 68°. That's right 68, and by the time they got out of the pool, the temperature dropped and it was 65°. Oh, but to be young again, because I guarantee you there's no way I'm going to climb into a 68° pool or a 65° pool for that matter. No, not going to happen. Not ever. Not no time. So anyway, I hope it's really nice on Memorial Day this year so that you know, everybody can enjoy the pool. We might even do a movie outside. We have a. 20 foot, 20 foot long movie screen. Yeah, you heard me right? 20 foot long from end to end and. It's 16 foot high. The thing is bassy. Anyway, we do movie nights in the backyard and you know, I wouldn't mind doing a movie night on Memorial weekend. We've never done one on Memorial weekend before, so it might be a fun thing to do. Last two movie nights. We did, we did the live action Dumbo and we did Disney Sword. On the stone. I don't know what we'll do this time around. I did recently score a copy of some of the South, and if you don't know about some of the South, you are totally missing out. This is one of those movies that should have never ever been stopped being distributed. But however, because of the politically correct. Payment. Disney decided not to distribute the movie ever again. It is forever in the Disney Vaults song of the South is about an old man. He's he's a slave in the Deep South and but his his, his people, his God. I hate to use the word but. It's it is what it is. His masters treat him and the other slaves on the plantation fairly. But that's not what the story's about. The story is not about slaves on plantations. What the story is about is kind of an Aesop's fable sort of thing. See the old man? His name is Uncle Remus. And the uncle Remus stories wore very popular at one time, and that's exactly what they were. They were fables. Each one of them had a moral well, these particular fables involved prayer. Rabbit, Brer Fox and Brer Bear. And Brer Rabbit is always outsmarting Brer Fox and Brer. Bear. This is a delightful movie that should only be viewed as what it was meant to be. A movie about fables, a movie about morals, and what is right and what is wrong and not. It's not a movie about slavery. It takes place in that time period, but it does not depict in any way shape or form. From. Any atrocity taking place, it's just it's a pleasant movie. I don't know what else to say here. I mean, you, if you've never seen the song in the South, you can watch it yourself and judge for yourself if you can find a copy of it. We actually found our copy on the Facebook marketplace, and I would strongly suggest if you don't know anything about song of the South. Don't prejudge what you've heard or that you know, Oh my gosh, it's about slaves. It's not about slaves. It's about. Fables. And that's all it is. It's about fables that have a moral at the end of them. So if you ever get a chance to definitely see song of the South, and it's a great movie. As a matter of fact, I'm sure you've heard this song and don't mind my singing, but I'm going to do this, OK? Zip, but it do da. Zippity yay. My Oh my. What a wonderful day. Colony of Sunshine Head my way zippity Doo dah zip bitty. Yeah. Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder. It's the truth. It's factual. Everything is satisfaction. Zip de Doo dah zip but ye. Wonderful feeling. Wonderful day. That's the song from the movie. I'm sure you've heard it at some point or another, because Disney at one time actually used the instrumental version in the background of their show. The wonderful world of Disney. So anyway, see song of the South. That's all I'm going to say and judge for yourself. What it's all about. Well. That looks like that's about it for this episode of the Rubber Biscuit Rd. show. This is your friendly neighborhood Gypsy saying. I will see you next time, and I promise, for those of you that like listening to me ramble on, that I will have a podcast next week, but until that. Time. All I can say is May God bless and keep you and yours later, Gators. Bye. Bye now.