"The Rubber Biskit Road Show" Presents "Never Say Never: An Epic Journey – Volume One, Part Seven – The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of"

"The Rubber Biskit Road Show" Presents "Never Say Never: An Epic Journey – Volume One, Part  Seven – The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of"

In the gripping seventh part of "Never Say Never: An Epic Journey – Volume One," The GYPSY arrives at his destination, ready to meet the family of a father he has never known. The somber occasion involves laying this mysterious figure to rest in the cold, unforgiving Kansas soil on a chilly March day in 1979.

As The GYPSY mentally braces himself for the emotional challenges that lie ahead, he reflects on the unimaginable circumstances faced by his mother, Shirley, when she embarked on a journey to Texas in 1955. She believed she was starting a new life with the man she loved, Lee Roy. However, this dream would be shattered by a tragic turn of events during a Powder Puff Derby stock car race when Lee Roy's wife, Wilma, attempted to kill her.

Join The GYPSY in this poignant episode as he navigates through the complex emotions surrounding the reunion with unknown family members, the burial of a father, and the haunting echoes of his mother's shattered dreams. The storytelling unfolds with a raw authenticity that delves into the depths of family dynamics and the enduring impact of past traumas.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a rebroadcast of a podcast episode from 11/15/2021. I stopped podcasting to help my wife through her battle with stage 4 breast cancer. My wife recovered and I am now ready to start podcasting once more. Over the next couple of months, I will be reposting my past podcasts and will start new episodes in January 2024. 

“Like a Rubber Biskit, I have spent my life bouncing from here to there and back to here again.”  -The GYPSY-

"NEVER SAY NEVER: AN EPIC JOURNEY - VOLUME ONE" is now available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback and Hardcover Book form. CLICK HERE!

I'm The GYPSY and You're Not and This Is The Rubber Biskit Road Show Presented By Artist Alley Studio Featuring The Artisan, Handcrafted and Branded Creations of The GYPSY and Mad Hatter. Visit Us At www.ArtistAlleyStudio.com

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Transcript

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

It was starting to feel like I was never going to get to my Uncle Cecil’s house. With each mile that passed it seemed as though two more were added. I had been fighting a frigid cross wind for the past ten miles and I did not know how much longer I would be able to endure the cold air and hard miles I was having to endure this day. God why am I doing this I didn’t even know the man. 

*** 

The wheels of the red stock car bit into the compacted dirt on the curve at the far end of the oval track. Shirley fought the wheel feeling gravity pulling against the car's momentum like a huge hand trying to pull the vehicle away from its present course. 

She accelerated out of the turn throwing dirt clods into the air. Fish tailing, she slightly turned into the spin. Regaining control Shirley buried her foot into the gas pedal and set her site on the muddy green car in front of her. 

***

Shirley had arrived in Houston a week after Lee Roy had arrived. He set her up in a trailer in a park outside of town that was owned by his older brother Wesley. Wesley and Lee Roy were close sharing everything including each other’s secrets. 

Wesley was slightly taller and heavier than Lee Roy and years of overindulgence in alcohol had given him a hangdog look. 

Lee Roy had introduced Shirley to a friend of his who owned a local bar. Lee Roy’s friend had given her a job waiting tables at the bar, but it had been Wesley that had suggested that she start racing in the Powder Puff Derbies. 

The bar owner had sponsored her car and Wesley had taken her out to the old abandoned airport next to the trailer park to teach her how to drive the race car. Shirley was a natural catching on in no time and showing no fear as she learned how to enter and pull out of the tightest turns. 

Shirley had lived in Miami, Florida for a few months where she had briefly dated a Professional Wrestler. He had gotten her involved in Women’s Professional Wrestling where she had a few matches under the name “Dirty Liz”. She had enjoyed playing the Bad Guy, but it all ended when her boyfriend deliberately tried to kill another Wrestler during a match by dragging him under the ring and pulverizing his head against a support. Disillusioned Shirley left Florida and took the Super Chief to Oregon, another place she had always wanted to see. That is where she had met Lee Roy. 

Shirley had enjoyed the thrill of competition and the danger of Wrestling. She missed the adrenaline rush it gave her but now as a Powder Puff Derby Girl she once again, like a Heroin Junkie looking for a fix, could hardly wait to run her first race. 

The day she ran her first race she came in sixth in a field of 12. Shirley had not placed but she had not come in dead last either. She was exhilarated but disappointed too. 

She had wanted Lee Roy to see her race but at the moment he was gone for two weeks, with the merchant marines, on ship and headed for the Yucatan peninsula. 

Wesley had also advised against letting Lee Roy know, saying that he would be upset if he found out that she was taking part in such a dangerous sport. However, there was more to it than that and Shirley found out how much more the second time she raced. 

***

Coming in fourth in a field of 15 Shirley was extremely animated as she exited the red stock car that advertised Doyle’s Gulf Side Tavern. 

“Who the fuck was that platinum bitch in the green wreak that cut me off on the last curve?” 

Wesley was motioning for Shirley to quiet down, but she was having no part of it. 

“Fuck you Wes,” Shirley spat at him, “I would have come in third if it hadn’t been for her.” 

Shirley turned to go in the direction of the other driver when Wesley grabbed her. 

“Don’t,” he hissed, “that’s Wilma.” 

Wilma approached eyeing Shirley up and down. She was shorter than Shirley had thought she would be. Her dark eyebrows told the truth about the true colour of the bleached hair. Heavy mascara and bright red lipstick made her pale features seem almost ghost like. 

“Who’s this?” Wilma asked Wesley in an almost manly manner. 

“This is Shirley, a friend of mine.” Wesley offered. 

Hooking her thumbs into her belt loops and not taking her eyes off of Shirley Wilma said, “Another one of your whores?” 

Clenching her fist and gritting her teeth Shirley said, “No, I’m someone else’s whore.” 

Wesley stepped between the two women and asked Wilma to leave. Wilma said OK but told Shirley that she might want to find a different sport to take part in. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Shirley demanded of Wesley. 

“Because I thought it would be funny to see you two compete against each other the way you compete for Lee.” 

***

Shirley was now gaining on the green car and moving to the inside of the track she pulled up even with the car. Wilma turned and looked towards Shirley as she turned and looked towards Wilma. She could not see her eyes past the mud that covered her goggles, but Shirley knew it was a look of pure hate. She was just wondering how much more Wilma would hate her if she knew that Shirley was Lee Roy’s lover when Wilma pulled her wheel hard to the left and slammed into Shirley’s car. 

The right front fender of the red car flew into the air as Shirley fought to keep control. The green car pulled ahead, and Shirley felt that turnabout's fair play. Accelerating, she moved towards the outside as they headed into the next turn of the oval on the half mile track. As she pulled up even with the green car Wilma suddenly let off the gas pedal and fell back just as they entered the turn. Before Shirley could react, Wilma accelerated and ploughed hard into the left back fender of the red car. 

The world suddenly became a slow motion silent picture show. Colors turned black and white. Light flickered as the reels spun the films images onto the projector screen of the mind. Shirley felt the bump then felt her hands jerked from the wheel as the car became airborne. She grasped for the wheel fighting to steer the vehicle through the air. 

Shirley had a sensation of lying on her side just moments before her world turned upside down. Right before the roof of the car came back into contact with the track Shirley thought: This must be what it’s like when a roller coaster gets derailed. Flying dirt and blessed blackness enveloped her as the car rejoined the earth. The last thing Shirley heard before succumbing to the darkness was a loud popping noise. 

The crash had been spectacular and if it was destruction that those that were in the grandstand that evening had come for then they had got their money's worth. The yellow caution flag was raised then the black flag to stop the race as the emergency crews rushed to the side of the overturned stock car. They quickly and carefully extracted the driver. The experienced ambulance crew recognized the signs of a possible broken back and neck. Working with care they strapped her to a back board then lifted her onto a gurney. She was coming around and the ambulance crew told her to stay still and reassured her that she would be fine. 

As they were preparing to load the gurney into the back of the ambulance one of the other drivers, a short platinum blond with too much makeup, rushed to the injured driver's side. The ambulance driver stopped her but then recognized her as the driver of the green car that had caused the crash. He reasoned that she wanted to apologize to the injured driver and allowed her to step closer. 

Leaning over the injured driver Wilma softly whispered in Shirley’s ear, “Whose old man are you going to fuck now whore?” 

Shirley opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Wilma smiled in self-satisfaction as a tear cascaded down Shirley’s cheek. 

The ambulance attendant yelled at the ambulance driver to help him load the gurney, “Hurry, hurry,” he demanded. 

The ambulance driver looked at their patient and muttered, “Oh shit!” Pushing Wilma out of the way he grabbed the side of the gurney as his partner grabbed the other side. He had seen the blood that his partner had seen and there was no time to spare. Loading the gurney and locking it into place, the driver slammed the door as the attendant climbed in beside the patient. 

The ambulance spewed dust and dirt as it sped from the race track with lights flashing and siren screaming. The driver keyed the mike and speaking into the egg shaped box notified the hospital that they were in route. 

“We have an 18 to 20 year old female with a possible broken back and neck. Severe haemorrhage from pelvic region”, he announced, “Appears to be having a miscarriage, ETA 20 minutes.” 

*** 

I had endured as much of the cold as I could and was now sitting on a cement brick wall that surrounded a sailboat. Not a real sailboat, no, this sailboat was welded out of sheet metal. It was a sure bet that if you set it upon even a frozen body of water that it would sink like, well like, a metal sailboat. Peeling black letters on the dirty white sail let traveller’s know that they had just entered, “Meriden, Kansas - The Best Little Town By A Dam Site - Gateway To Lake Perry.” 

I let the cherry of the cigarette that I had cupped in my hand warm my fingers as I brought it to my lips and inhaled deeply. The bike ticked away its heat as it cooled alongside the road. I had parked it close to the wall and my legs were enjoying the escaping heat from the tail pipes. 

I took another drag and sighed. I did not have too much farther to go, and I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to remount the motorcycle in a moment and take the last few cold miles. I thought about the things my mom had told me about my biological Father but there were a lot of gaps, and I wasn’t sure how it all tied together. I would have to try to talk with her some more about him one of these days and see if I could put it into some kind of sequence. 

As I kicked the bike to life, I hoped that some of those gaps might be filled this day by strangers that shared the same blood as me. 

*** 

Lee Roy had rushed to the hospital as soon as his ship had hit port. Wesley had contacted via shore to ship radio to let him know what had happened. Lee Roy was angry with his brother that he would have put Shirley into such a situation. At the moment however his concern for Shirley far outweighed his anger at his brother. 

Shirley’s injuries had included a concussion, a dislocated shoulder, broken collar bone and two chipped and dislocated vertebrae in her neck. She had also suffered a miscarriage. The nice young Doctor who had been attending her had estimated that she had been around eight weeks pregnant. She didn’t understand that, she had told the Doctor she was still having her periods, the doctor explained to her that some women have period’s way into their pregnancies sometimes six months or more. 

Shirley was devastated at the loss of the baby. She had a miscarriage when she had been married to Bill Braswell and now, she had lost Lee Roy’s child. She decided that he would never know and asked the Doctor and nursing staff not to tell him should he ever come to see her while she was in the hospital. 

Lee Roy sat alongside the hospital bed leaning forward and holding Shirley’s hand between his strong hands. Shirley did not look much like a movie star at this moment. A heavy neck brace supported her head and her right arm had been made immobile. Her dark bobbed hair was a dishevelled mess, and her eyes were swollen and red. 

“She knows,” Shirley said looking at the ceiling above her bed.

“What?” Lee Roy asked even though he knew what she meant. 

“Wilma knows about us,” she said, “she knows, and she tried to kill me.” 

Lee Roy thought about what she had said then shaking his head said, “I can’t see that.” 

As the tears started flowing down Shirley’s face, she related to him what Wilma had said to her as she was loaded into the ambulance. Silence filled the room as Shirley silently wept and Lee Roy contemplated what she had said. Seconds become minutes and the minutes piled upon each other as the silence became heavier. 

Suddenly the silence was broken as Shirley said “Lee” just as Lee said “Shirley.” 

“Sorry,” he said, “go ahead.” 

She sighed and looking sideways at him said, “You first.” 

Fumbling for the right words he hung his head and said, “I can’t leave her.” 

Shirley squeezed his hand and said, “I didn’t ask you too.” 

Lee Roy looked at her, “It’s more complicated than you know.” 

Shirley released his hand, “Did you hear me? I’m not asking you to choose, I know you love us both.” She was crying freely now. 

“Don’t cry,” He said, “I never meant for you to be hurt.” 

Silence again filled the gulf between them. Lee Roy tried to take Shirley’s hand, but she pulled it out of his reach. 

“Lee, I love you, but I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder wondering when Wilma will try to kill me again.” Shirley let out a heavy sigh, “Unless Wilma can accept what I have accepted then I don’t know what future we have.” 

Lee Roy looked at her, “Wilma will never share me.” 

Though it caused her considerable pain Shirley reached up to his face with her free hand and she touched his cheek. “I know,” she whispered. 

Lee Roy stood and brushing back a stray hair kissed her forehead. He looked into her eyes for a long moment running his fingers through her hair. He touched her lips with his index finger as she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he said softly as he removed his finger. 

Shirley lay with her eyes closed for a minute, an hour, a day, she did not know how long. 

She was lost in a dark void and when she opened them again, she was alone in the room with only her thoughts and the pain that filled her chest 

*** 

I had been fortunate, the cold and grey the weather had balanced between bleak and miserable on the frigid 75 mile ride. As I pulled my bike up in front of the off white split level in a nondescript suburb just inside the Topeka city limit’s the sky turned greyer and a fine wet mist filled the air. 

I shut off the BSA and kicked down the stand. Dismounting the bike, I reached into my pocket for the crumbled pack of Marlboro’s I had splurged on this day. I was hoping that I would not need the seventy five cents to see me for gas home. I shook one of the smokes from the pack, lit it, leaned back against the bike and accessed my surroundings. 

So, this is where my Uncle Cecil and his family lived. It did not surprise me I had half expected them to be Suburbanites and a small measure of satisfaction welled inside of me that my deduction had been correct. I also suspected that they were not smokers so despite the clinging mist that clung to my bike, my hair and my clothes I enjoyed this moment with the cigarette before I walked into the uncertain family gathering. 

I inhaled and pulled the cigarette away from my mouth. I turned my cupped hand which protected it from the wet to look at the progress of its burn. I watched the smoke escape from the end and head upwards to help make the dark sky even darker. I noticed the small drops of moisture which glistened like little jewels on the back of my glove as my mind again wandered away. 

 ***

After her release from doctors care Shirley had phoned her Mother and asked if she could come home. “Of course, you can”, Pearl said, “Your Father and I both miss you.” 

Wesley had said that she always had a place in his trailer park back in Houston but at this time she felt the need for family. She was afraid that she would become unstable again. She could feel her sanity just barely hanging on by a thread, so she headed back to Topeka and the ones she loved and who she knew loved her in return. 

Shirley had moved back into her parents’ home at the corner of seventh and Western streets. The big house had been converted by her father and Mother into apartments and she took up residence in the large studio on the second floor. Her Father was now a retired Dentist, and her mother was Manager of the children’s department at Pelletier’s department store. 

Shirley’s Mother arranged for her to get a job in the toy section of the children’s department and Shirley fell into a daily routine that did not include thoughts of Lee Roy and the pain he had caused her. 

***

Shirley sat in the window of the fourth floor employees lounge watching the traffic slowly move along on Kansas Avenue below. She slowly ate her liverwurst and cheese sandwich and mindlessly watched as a tall slender woman dressed in red exited a car that was the same colour as her dress and rushed for the hotel entrance on the corner of the street. 

She was amusingly wondering if the woman had dressed to match the car or if the car had dressed to match the woman when she heard the lounge door swing open. Turning she looked at the figure that stood there saying her name, “Shirley.” And then again it said “Shirley. 

It is him! He is standing there! I haven’t lost it! It is him! 

She had rehearsed this scene a thousand times in her head and had played and replayed every scenario until she had it planned to perfection. She would calmly put down her lunch, cross the room never taking her eyes from his eyes. She would stand in front of him and move ever so seductively forward and slap his face, hard. She would then push past him as he rubbed his cheek and tell him as she left the lounge that she had moved on and she suggested that he do the same. The door would close behind her and so would that portion of her life. 

Shirley stood up and set her lunch down on the window sill where she had just been sitting. Brushing the crumbs from her dress she squared her shoulders and made eye contact with him. She then ran across the room and throwing herself into his arms sobbed into his chest, “Oh Lee how I’ve missed you.” 

 ***

My Aunt Lula had opened the door when I rang the bell and I now sat within a room full of strangers who had made me welcomed and with whom I felt strangely comfortable and at ease with. 

Aunt Lula had taken my wet coat to hang it up to dry while Uncle Cecil poured me a cup of coffee. I was with family members who I had just met or that I had not seen since I was a child, yet I felt as if I had known them my entire life. 

Everyone wanted to know about me, since I was the known missing puzzle piece of Lee Roy’s life, but I did not want to talk about myself. For now, I wanted to know things about the man who had loved my Mother and who had brought about my existence. I was finding it difficult to pull conversations back in that direction but soon I had a pretty clear picture of the man in the last years of his life and what had brought me here on this day. 

The family room in the lower level of this home was getting more crowded as more and more family members arrived. The air was thick, and I was starting to feel the type of suffocation you will only experience when there is one too many people in the place you are at. I decided that I was the “one too many people” and grabbing my coat from the rack I stepped out the sliding glass patio door. 

The warmth and confined feeling of the house gave way to the cold expansiveness of the home's backyard. Sitting down on the cold wrought iron chair I kept my back to the wind as I hunched over and lit a cigarette. Staying hunched against the chill wind I rolled the smoking cylinder between my fingers and contemplated the red hot cherry at the end. 

*** 

Lee Roy had tracked Shirley to Topeka after she left Houston. He had thought of nothing else but her from the moment he had left her in the hospital. As he worked the long hours on ship she danced in and out of his mind and his heart. 

Much to her mother’s protest Shirley had quit her job at Pelletier’s and headed back to Houston with Lee Roy. He set her back up in one of Wesley’s trailers and though he was still married to Wilma he reassured Shirley that he was working to sever those ties. Lee Roy had gone on ship shortly before Christmas and had got Shirley a couple of coon dog pups to keep her company while he was gone. 

Shirley had decided that she would stay low key to lessen the chance of crossing Wilma’s path. 

Wesley gave her odd jobs to do around the trailer park to keep her busy and to give her a little pocket cash. The loneliest times for her were at night when she longed to have Lee Roy lying next to her in the empty bed. She kept herself warm with thoughts of what their life together would be like once he was completely hers. 

***

The call had been unexpected and not one she had ever wanted to receive. Her Mother had called the trailer park office and asked Wesley to have Shirley call her immediately. When she had called her mother back, she had been told that her Father had suffered a stroke and was not expected to live. That was four days and a lifetime ago. 

Shirley reached down and scooped up a handful of dirt from the graveside, her tears mingling with the brown soil. Valentine’s Day would never mean love to her again. It would only be the bleak day that she had to say goodbye forever her beloved Father, Oscar Lennox Hummel. 

She had made a shore to ship call to Lee Roy, but he was somewhere between Houston and Rio and would not be able to get back for over a month. So, on this cold February day in 1956 Shirley found herself feeling more alone and lost without him than she ever had. 

Tossing the hand full of dirt down onto the lid of the casket she dropped to the ground wailing out her anguish. 

Shirley’s Mother had wanted her to stay for a while, but she insisted that she had to get home before Lee Roy returned from sea. She knew that her mother didn’t approve of nor agree with her relationship with Lee Roy but that was OK, Pearl will just have to get over it, I’m an adult and I know what I am doing, she reasoned.

***  

Shirley had fallen asleep on the couch. Wesley had asked her to clean two recently vacated trailers and they had been a disaster. Both were full of trash and disgusting. When she had finished up around four in the afternoon she had gone to her own trailer and had lain back on the couch to watch some TV. 

She awoke with a jolt, the two coon hounds were going crazy barking and pulling on their chains so hard that it was rocking the trailer to which they were attached. She jumped up and leaned towards the window to see if she could see what was upsetting the dogs. Before Shirley could look out the window the trailer's door came open and there stood her beloved Lee Roy looking ethereally illuminated by the bluish glow from the TV set. 

Reaching out he pulled her up from the couch and wrapped her in the strong arms she had missed these past three months. They slowly sunk to the floor as the tiny TV screen framed Jack Benny putting his hand on his cheek and uttering his catchphrase, “Well”. 

Lee Roy and Shirley came together and started the process that would create the embryo that would eventually grow into a man that would one day attend the funeral of a Father he never knew.